


Prayer-- ♡38 HEALTH: Pray

by 13ineedpills13



Series: 祈りは空っぽ - Inori Wa Karappo - Prayer Is Empty [4]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Character Death, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Illnesses, M/M, Murder, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24780898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13ineedpills13/pseuds/13ineedpills13
Summary: Everything ends.
Relationships: Main Character/Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader
Series: 祈りは空っぽ - Inori Wa Karappo - Prayer Is Empty [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789252
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	Prayer-- ♡38 HEALTH: Pray

**Author's Note:**

> The last three digits of the number of words in this story is the angel's number backwards lol

With tired, swollen and red eyes, Simeon unclasped his hands and let them fall on the bed with a small "flop". He didn't get up from where he kneeled down for a while, and put his forehead on the edge of his bed. He let his silent tears ooze out of his burning eyes and stain the bedsheets in tiny droplets. His mind wondered all kinds of things during this moment, but Simeon doesn't remember any of them. He didn't even think that he actually _thought_ of something, he just remembered feeling empty, if he ignored the imaginary hand that was squeezing his chest from the inside, making it hard to breathe.

Ever since to squeezed his hand and told him that you didn't want to die, ever since you hugged his arm tightly and told him to not leave you alone like everyone else, and ever since you begged him to tell you that you weren't a burden to everyone else around you, he felt... cold. Like his heart purposefully and forcefully decided to cross your name on the "People I Cate About" list he had in it. Something in his eyes died down, and he felt nothing as you cried on his shoulder. He felt nothing when he saw you struggling to breathe from all your crying and begging. And he felt irritated, bothered at the sight of your swollen eyes. As much as he showed his care and support throughout your treatment, he was tired.

Exhausted.  
Hopeless.

He visited you one last time before he stopped. He took one last walk with you. Your legs didn't have the strength to carry you anymore, so you were bound to an uncomfortable wheelchair. With your thin legs wrapped around a scratchy, beije blanket agganist the cold winter weather, he walked through the hospital garden with you. He used his power to keep you warm. It worked, but it didn't fixed the cracks in your hourglass. It didn't stop the sand from oozing out... Your eyes were sunken even more, the bruises in your arms and the back of your hand had increased. The it was impossible to keep track of the medicines you were taking in a single day, and after a while, you stopped taking them. The medicines weren't working for you anymore, and you were in and out of sleep all day. The painkillers you were receiving kept you sleepy enough to not feel, see, or hear anything. 

"...Simeon." Your tired, quiet voice calls out to him. "...Do you... still have those earphones? You know, the ones I..."

"I do." He responds with a voice that held no emotion.

"Good..." You say and slump back on the chair, staring a the muddy, snowy pile in front of your way, without saying anything else. Something in your voice sounded somewhat relieved that Simeon had those white, knock-off Apple earphones your mother got from her workplace when her boss told her to throw it away. Yours were broken, and you felt so happy when you got them. You remember giving her a big hug as a thank you. You smile at the memory and feel your eyes burn, your vision gets blurry. You acted so mean towards her all the time, during your stupid teenager tantrums. And you never apologized properly to her. You couldn't count how many times she excused your actions without an apology and made your favorite food. You couldn't forget her dissappointed, or sorrowful, expression whenever you screamed at her over some stupid shit.

Or your siblings. You were always the outcast out of your two other siblings, they got along very well. You, however, never bothered to join their movie nights, never hung out with them, never joined their vacations, and prefered solitude. How about your father? The man that was always there for you whenever you got in trouble in school? The man that covered your expenses and tuition fees, the man that bought you your very first phone. The man that brought you your clothes whenever they got ripped or dirty in middle school, the man that picked you up from there whenever you got sick. Your mother once threatened you when you came out of the closet, told you that your dad would commit suicide if this reached to his ears when you were only thirteen years old. So you swallowed everything, along with your pride, up and told her that it was a misunderstanding, that you were mistaken with your sexuality and you were actuallt straight. Because you were afraid of the consequences.

Because you didn't want to loose them. You didn't want to be rejected from them, you didn't want your father to commit suicide if he heard this. You know he wouldn't actually do that, but it was just a deep fear in your heart. Your family still knew you as a straight man, while the reality was different. But once tou arrived to Devildom, everything changed. No one judged you, everyone accepted you as you were. The brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon, Simeon and even fucking _Luke_. You soon said your goodbyes to them, and couldn't stop the tears as you hugged them one by one. "My glasses are getting foggy..." You laughed mumbled to yourself, getting a chuckle out of Diavolo as you wiped your eyes with your sleeve.

Even then, you remember getting the tightest, yet most gentle hug from Simeon, before you stepped inside the heart of RAD to go back to home. Simeon asked for a small moment with you, and spreaded his arms to you a little, inviting you to an embrace after Lucifer went inside. You two had gotten quite close during this time, you even fell asleep on his lap once, but he hated showing affection in front of everyone else. So, when he saw you lost in thought, he remembered a promise you made him agree to. "Promise me to give me a hug whenever you see me down. Okay?"

"Of course." He said, nodding with a gentle laugh. You said this to him at the beggning of the summer vacation, and he always kept it. He smiled at your tear-stained face and wiped it away for you. You could see in his eyes, that he truly _loved_ you.  
Yes, loved you.  
You knew all this time that this stupid angel with the sexiest shoulders, (and probably didn't know how to use his dick either, but that is a discussion for another time... What another time?) loved you. An angel, who was a creature that was created to worship and adore god, had fallen in love with you.

You loved him too, but you never told this to him. And even if you did so, it didn't matter anymore. You two looked at each other and smiled, slowly letting go of each other.  
It wasn't too long before you learned that you were sick too. 

You were thrown back to your stupid household after that. But you still loved them very much. You couldn't just throw them away, you had so many memories with them, **you loved them.** So you endured the pain. But soon, you had to say goodbye to them, never returning back. And the thought made your heart ache. You've already forgiven them, they simply didn't understand. They had no idea such thing existed in the first place, and you weren't blaming them for judging you. You already accepted that. For now, you just wished that they visited you, apart from paper work they had to deal with. 

Did you mean nothing to them?  
Were you just a waste of money and effort?  
...  
**You were.**

The happy summer days spent with Simeon was still ringing in your head. Devildom was unbearably hot, but he was still kind enough to make cold drinks for you two, or carry a cold water bottle for you, and a bottle of holy water for himself. The happy summer days slowly turned into bitter tomorrows, filled with pain and disgust, guilt, hopelessness. The bitter taste of the lemonade he made for you was still on your tongue, and the dusty smell of the gym storage room at RAD was still on your nose. You two played basketball together a lot, and you joked a lot about getting stuck in that storage room one day, it only had a lock from the outside. The sad excuse of a sunset Devildom had became something very beautiful with him, and the Purgatory Hall's usual silence was often filled with Luke's protests and your screams of laughter when you were there. Solomon often had to calm both of you down before you two broke something, while Simeon made food for everyone.

This place was your true home.

You felt your tears stream down your face, leaving your eyes with a hot, sticky and wet sensation. Your hitched breath is enough to make Simeon realize that you were, in fact, feeling horrible. His promise rang in his ears again, he promised to embrace you whenever you were down. But he just watched you, hugging yourself with a hunched back, your shoulders trembling and small whimpers escaping your mouth. He didn't embrace you that day, he broke his promise.

He didn't feel like this ever since he witnessed the aftermath of the most bloody battle of the Celestial War, the Celestial Campaign. Hunders of corpses, his brothers and sisters, some as young as 1500, laid on the cold soil. It was an absolute bloodbath, and many of them had to be piled up in hills and burned to avoid and spread of diseases. Simeon remembered having to climb on top of these hills to aim his weapons towards the enemies, stepping on top of the dead angels beneath him. He remembers having to use a cart full of corses to shield himself from the endless arrows pointed at his way, the smell of blood was everywhere, he was covered in the golden liquid from head to toe. He remembers aiming at one of the commandors on his side and shooting his arrow, piercing right through the back of his head. The commandor had forced them to keep going in this monsterous battle, fear was on everyone's hearts. They were fighting back agganist the most powerful angels (demons?) in the realm, how could they possibly win?

This wasn't a matter of repressing the rebellion anymore. The war didn't matter, and both sides were tired, giving heavy losses in the process. Starvation and disease was everywhere, famine had started, all clean water suppiles were destroyed, and most importantly, the number of losses were increasing everyday. It was in that moment that Simeon realized something very serious. No matter the outcome, wars do not end in one side being victorious. Wars simply end, because both sides fight each other so much that everyone gets tired from seeing blood and torn off limbs, scattered everywhere. It isn't a victory, if you lost so many things along the way. It is just not worth it.

He didn't felt this much pain and... He didn't know how to explain it with a single word. It is the feeling of sorrow and dissappointment you get when you realize that something you dedicated your power and time into for so long had little to no meaning, and the emptiness that comes after it. The emptiness caused by the lost time you could've spent with doing something _actually_ important. Time didn't mattered to him, since he measured it by millennias, but it still hurt.

So bad.

He didn't want to feel this pain anymore. So, completely ignoring his status as your guardian angel, he stopped looking after you, he stopped coming out of his house. Even the mention of your name was enough to make him feel worse, feel guilty for his desicion of forgetting about you. Even if you came to the celestial realm, he doubted that he could face you. He prayed, and prayed, _and prayed_ without sleeping or eating to his father to lift this heavy block of guilt from his heart. But as if his father was no longer present with them, his prayers never reached to him.

He looked over at his desk, at the small pocket watch he had on there. It was 2 in the morning, the undying sun outside had a faint glow. It's glow, it's light never disappeared. Contrary to Devildom, the sun never set in here. It was always there. It was always shining up there, and it made Simeon want to curse at it. How did it always managed to keep itself shining? Why did it lit up the heavens all he time as if this was a good place, where everyone was at peace and happy? Were these never-ending, disgusting emotions his punishment, since he gave his devoted his heart and soul to someone other than his father? A human, on top of that? What was wrong with him? Why was his father so cruel?

He stopped crying and wiped his eyes, reaching out to his drawer. He had the earphones you've given to him in there. He slowly took them out, out them inside his pocket, put his heavy cape on his shoulders. Ignoring the clinks of the diamond shaped, golden gems at the tips of this cloak (which was a gift from Michael), he walked out of his room for the first time in a few weeks. He felt something in his chest that urged him to do so. But he wasn't hurrying, even though he heard a shattering inside his head. **It's him.** The voice spoke again. **The illness didn't shattered his glass, he did it himself.**

And before Simeon knew it, he was standing in front of your dead body, fallen out of your wheelchair, holding a gun in your right hand with your finger still on the trigger. A blood puddle was formed by the blood that streamed down from your forehead. Your body was already cold, blood was splattered on your sheets, your face, your hair, and your wheelchair. Your soul waiting for Azrael to come and get you. Your soul didn't noticed him, but you didn feel in peace in his presence. Simeon stared at the body before his eyes, before he quietly put the earphones on your desk, and falling on his knees next to your body.

You chose to take your own life, before that illness took it...

Or did you, really?  
Or was he remembering it wrong?  
He certainly did remember placing that gun next to your dead body, between your limp hands.  
More importantly...  
When did he change into his angel form?  
When did he come in there?

...

**_What just happened?_ **

He took your crumbling body in his arms, while your soul gazed out of the window. He put a hand over your semi-open, lifeless eyes and closed them with his ungloved hand, sealing your fate. Simeon knew that the nurses and the guards were soon going to check this place, hearing the gunshot. It would be bad if they saw him in this state, both in his angel form, and with a dead body in his arms. With fresh tears pouring out of his face, he whispered one last prayer while hugging you.

A prayer of forgiveness.

But for what?  
He didn't do anything wrong.

\---

prayer--  
♡0  
HEALTH; Empty

**Author's Note:**

> Driven by guilt of his own actions and the frustration of not being able to save this human, Simeon decided to end his life before this illness ended it. Picking up the gun he had in his drawer he bought not too long ago, with the earphones, he went to the hospital. He didn't bother with showing himself, with his magic he quickly went to the human's room and opened the door quietly. It was 9:51 PM, the sun had set a long time ago and the human decided to enjoy the nightsky more, before guiding himself to his bed with his arms. He turned around with the chair when he heard the door open, and was greeted with the sight of a dazed Simeon. Unable to control himself longer, Simeon shifted to his angel form. Truly a magnificent look indeed.
> 
> With one last comforting smile, he pointed the gun at him. The sick human was surprised to see him there, but he quickly understood his intentions. He turned at him fully and flashed him a cheeky grin. Before speaking his last words.  
> "...Don't dream of such simple things."
> 
> **  
> _BANG_  
>  **


End file.
